Well, I am so excited. (At some point will you be sick of hearing me say that?) But, I have had a couple really powerful weeks! Tim and I have gotten our heads together on some big new things. We made a great profit on the BBQ. And I’ve found some new music. And we have some great new things to preview this week and talk about NEXT week.
Want some new music? Here you go!
We have played this one at Revive, and probably will play again!
I’m loving this band. And that Venue! It looks like Revive!
Are you sensing a theme in my musical tastes yet? Trent found this band for me! Blame him!
Or this one? Its a little different….
Or this one…By John Mark McMillian, the guy who wrote How He Loves on why he wrote it!!!
So, what are you listening to? What has you excited?
See you Saturday!!
Blessings! Emily
PS. Here’s your clue to our exciting announcement!!!
Busyness seems to eat me alive some weeks. I seem to be in constant motion. Even when I am waiting, I am tapping my toe. Thinking. Checking my phone. Praying. Doing. Running. I never seem to stop. A friend mentions it every time we talk. “Its like you dance when we talk. Are you ever still?”
On the way to church two weeks ago, I was listening to a local station that plays gospel music on Sunday Mornings. I only have a 5 minute drive to church, and often only hear one song. But its a wonderful way to head to church. I know most of the songs. They are big songs that let me sing along. They pump me up! But that Sunday, they were playing a song I’d never heard. The singer kept repeating, “Be still and know that He is God.” He kept going over and over all the way until I pulled into church. I began to repeat it, while all the worries and questions and prayers were flowing through my head. I said thew words, but never changed my mind. I begged for answers from God, but didn’t stop and listen for them. When I turned the car off, I finally turned my brain off. “Ok God,” I said. “I’ll try. To be still and know that you are God.”
But I quickly walked into the craziness that is Sunday morning. There were things left undone, things to do. Prayers to pray. People to greet. Water to pour. To do list to finish. There wasn’t a liturgist and I had to find an acolyte. It was chaos, holy, typical, chaos. Worship began and my mind raced. On my worries. On worship. On my duties. I was not still in body, mind or spirit. It only took seconds to remember my pledge and prayer from that morning. Our senior pastor was preaching that morning, so after my pastoral prayer and the choir anthem, I quietly slipped into my pew to begin to listen. He opened his bible to Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know I am God.” I’m not sure if I heard much of the rest of his sermon. And honestly, I’m not sure how much of the sermon had to do with that verse. All I know is that God gave me what I needed. “Be Still and Know that I am God.”
The last two weeks that has been my prayer. “Be still and know that I am God.” When I worried. When I wanted to jump ahead. “Be still and know that I am God.” When I wanted to change the world. “Be still and know that I am God.” When I wanted to scream and shout. “Be still and know that I am God.” When I wanted to speak too loudly. “Be still and know that I am God.” When I wanted to cry. “Be still and know that I am God.” When I wanted to reach out. When I wanted to be angry. “Be still and know that I am God.”
I want to do things myself. I want them to work out my way. I like to get caught up in my own worries and agenda. But in the end, God is in control. Of my life. Of my heart. Of me. So, when I wake and when I sleep and when I worry and when I pray, its about God. Its Gods. I want to give Him my life, and I won’t even give him the space between my ears or my thoughts. I’m not saying that I will ever be completely STILL, but I am trying. I am trying to wait and watch and pray. I am trying to give the control back where it belongs.
I am going to be still. I will know He is God. And today that is good.
What a big word! It seemed to permeate through my day. I woke up with repentance on my brain, and my morning prayer was full of it. Asking for God’s grace and mercy. Asking for God’s help to forgive those I’ve hurt. Asking for Jesus to help me forgive myself. Forgiveness seemed to be in every thought, every prayer, every breath.
Then, I got to the office. And everyone who came in had a story of forgiveness. Where they had been forgiven, or needed to. Or where someone did something that made them frustrated or sad or hurt. We all needed forgiveness. Conversations brought up old wounds of unforgiveness. Or scars from hurts never even examined. It was a day of forgiveness. I prayed with and for people. I made appointments with others. Grace seemed to abound and be scarce all at once. It was a long, emotional day.
Then this evening, I come to Starbucks to work on another message I’m writing. It was going to be on John 8:12 where Jesus says, “I am the Light”. But as I read the rest of the chapter, I was convicted. Because the story before those words, from the beginning of John 8 is a story of forgiveness. There was a woman caught in adultery. She should have been put to death. That was what the rules were. Caught in adultery =death. No exceptions. No mercy. No forgiveness. Death.
So, the Pharisees brought her to Jesus to try and trick him. They asked what should be done with her. And he refused to judge her. After a lengthy exchange, he said, “If you haven’t sinned, then you can throw the first stone.” And they all left. And he told her to go and sin no more.
I love that story, but I’ve always stopped there, but he continues, “I am the light of the world, whoever follows me will never have darkness but the light of life.” Huh? I was confused. He continues with a debate with the Pharisees about truth and judgement. He even says that as a MAN he doesn’t judge. That only God judges. And I got stumped. How do the Light of the world and judgement and forgiveness work together. I’ve always struggled with how this works. How we stand up and be the light in the darkness. The city on the hill. Without judging. Without throwing stones. It seems like we are good at one thing or another. We are good at loving and forgiving and letting evil continue. Or we are good at the other. We are good at judging and condemning to hell and snuffing out God’s light. We either make people believe that they can do what they want without consequence or we make them condemn them and make them feel less. I’ve never figured out how to find the middle.
But in reading John 8, I think maybe I’m finding some more answers. Maybe this passage would help me look at forgiveness and judgement in new ways. Like so much we try to take on what God does. We try to be the judge, jury, and executioner, sometimes in real, legitimate ways. Sometimes we do it with our words or sideways glances. Sometimes we do it out of ignorance. Sometimes out of hate or self-righteousness. Sometimes out of jealousy or pride. Sometimes out of anger or fear. But we do it. But shining God’s love, reflecting God’s love isn’t about judging. Its about light.
You see, darkness runs from light. So, if we shine God’s light on the dark places, then God can do the fixing. God can show His grace. God’s judgement can be light–shining in the depths. That’s how we work for justice, but shining light. That’s how we work for truth. By being light. By shining light. By putting down our stones and picking up our flashlights. What is forgiveness? What is grace? Its a lot like shining a light. Sometimes it blinds us, but it always make things clearer. It always makes things better. It always makes the darkness scatter. Sometimes our light will be bright and shining. Other times it will be muted and soft, but if we let God in, if we believe the truths and work for righteousness, it will be there.
As I was coming to this realization, a young man walked into Starbucks. I had been his pastor when he was a youth. He has grown up to be a great young man, and I am always thankful to see him. We chatted about my new revelation and about how God is working in his life. As our conversation ended, he said, “I’m really sorry if I was a jerk to you before. I am a different person now. I promise”. I smiled and assured him that he was forgiven and loved. The light that crossed his face was powerful. God’s light shone in that moment. No judgement. Just the love and grace of God. Who forces the evil to scatter. The evil scattered.
So, I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me that this week’s Playlist is GRACE. Grace. Forgiveness. The songs you need to help you forgive. To help you receive forgiveness. To help you understand forgiveness. So, I’ll ask you, where do you need to shine God’s light of truth into the darkness? Who do you need to forgive? What stones do you need to drop? Whose forgiveness do you need to seek? Where do you need to start focusing God’s light?
I pray that you’ll see God’s light. And that you’ll join us Saturday. I don’t know if we’ll play this song. But its sure going around in my head. Maybe it’ll get stuck in yours too.
Last week was wonderful and crazy and draining and amazing and tiring and Spirit-filled. We did a lot of things around here. 200 people came for our Easter egg hunt and more than 1200 came to 9 different services. It took countless volunteers, and candles and breaths and so much love to make it all happen. But it seemed like a whirlwind, and now its all over.
I love Holy Week. Perhaps because I love so much to tell the story of Jesus. To talk about His last meal and the events leading the cross and the holy way he chose to die and the empty tomb. I love to tell the story of the Palm Branches and the cheering crowd and the crowd yelling crucify. And I probably love to tell the story because I loved so much for it to be told to me.
But its such a whirlwind. Its one frenetic week and then its over. I’ve often wondered why we only tell these stories once a year. Why the story of Jesus’ birth stays locked up in December and the story of his death gets locked up in Lent. We just do it all so fast. I don’t have time to think about how Pilate felt or what his wife was doing. I don’t have time to put myself in the disciple’s seat or in any of the Mary’s seat.
I don’t want to extend Holy Week necessarily, I just want to spend more time thinking, and praing and feeling my way through the sacrifices Jesus made for me. I want to live the story of My God who chose earth over heaven. Who chose to come into my dirty world in order to make it better. I want to watch the shepherds who rushed in under the stars to see this precious child. Their messiah come to earth. I want to breathe in the cries of crucify that I hear and chant every day. I want to hold in my arms the grieving at the cross and cry along with them. I want to stand with Thomas in my doubts that lead to greater faith. I want to see the empty tomb and realize the enormity of God triumphing over death. I wonder how we do this if we only spend a week. I wonder how we live into the stories if we put them back on the shelf until next year.
I think I’ll sit in this a while. I think I’ll pray and ponder and tell the story. I think instead of arguing over the things we seem to want to argue over, I’ll just sit back and tell the story. Do you want to hear it?
I am tired. As a pastor I’m not sure I’m supposed to admit that. We are often expected to be superhuman. To drop everything at a moment’s notice. To always have the right answers. To never stumble. To always wear the right clothes and smile. But you all know the truth. I am far from perfect. I give many wrong answers and stumble over my words. I am human. And today, I am tired.
But its Holy Week–we are heading into Easter, and I don’t have time to be tired. Here at Kennesaw UMC we will have NINE Services in 65 hours. Maundy Thursday tonight to celebrate the Lord’s Supper. A 10 am and 7 pm Good Friday Service tomorrow. An Easter Egg Hunt in the morning and a Revive Holy Saturday Vigil in the evening. And then 5 Sunday morning. 6:30, 8:30, 9:45, 9:45 and 12:00. I don’t have time to be tired.
But I’m tired. I’m tired of people calling themselves Christians and not following Christ. I’m tired of trying to convince people that we aren’t all hypocrites. I’m tired of having to convince people that church can be different. That loving others and extending grace is important but doesn’t make us weak. That washing feet and sharing meals is part of our call. That putting Jesus first something means putting yourself last. That having a faith community is the only way you will succeed. But that no faith community fits everyone. That being a Christian doesn’t mean your perfect, it just means that you keep trying.
I think that must have been how Jesus felt. As he came down off the high of Palm Sunday and realized that his friends would betray and deny him. As he kept preaching the same message knowing that they didn’t get it. As he knelt down to wash their feet. As he broke off bread and looked in Judas’ eyes. As he prayed and sweated blood and found the disciples asleep. As he faced the crowds who shouted cruicify and as he carried a cross up the hill. As he felt the nails and drew his last breath. I bet he was discouraged and tired and mad. And yet he kept going. He kept loving. He kept forgiving.
My sacrifices aren’t nearly as great. My call isn’t nearly so large. I am tired, but for my Lord, I will go on. I will pray and feed and forgive and love and preach and keep going. I will be patient and kind and loving and strong and smart. I will do what I am asked. For when I am weak and tired, I can boast in the strength of a God who is strong. I will count it all loss except for the one who tonight will share a feast with us. And tomorrow will walk to a cross. And Sunday will rise again.
I am blessed and thankful. Hope you find somewhere to celebrate–in your tiredness, in your sorrow. He did it for you. What will you do for him.
Long ago I learned a lesson. That some people are very focused on heaven. The afterlife. What happens when we die. For how Jesus saves us for eternal life. And others are very focused on Earth. On justice and mercy for the poor. For morality in this world. For how Jesus saves us from the evil of this world. often, we are so focused on one, we forget the other. My generation often challenges the generations before us that they were so foucsed on eternal salvation that they forgot about the Kingdom come to Earth. None of this is all encompassing or complete. I am sure there are people whose thinking is balanced. I am sure there are those in my generation who are focused on heaven/hell, and I am sure there are people in generations before me who are focused on the world.
And I’ll make a confession. I am clearly in the “lets let heaven take care of itself camp”. Not that its not interesting. Not that its not important. Not that I don’t think about it. Just that its overwhelming. I don’t have answers. I have read and talked and prayed. I have looked in scriptures. And its all confusing. The stories that are engrained in my head, often rule out over what I believe or worse what scripture says. And finally I decide that since we’ll never “know”, I’ll stand on the promise that eternal life with Jesus is enough. That what it looks like or is isn’t as important as that its promised.
So, here’s my bigger confession. I am scared of Saturday. Saturday in Revive, we will ask the questions. I’ll be prepared with scripture and theories and thoughts and Methodist Doctrinal thoughts. And I am worried we will all leave with more questions than answers. And I hope that will be ok with us all. I hope it will be ok with me.
Here’s to living out our mission. QUESTIONS ARE WELCOME! Even if they lead to more!
What do you think happens when we die? Why do you think that?
The question at Revive this week is….“How do I share my faith with people who don’t believe?”
I think its an important question. Something that too many of us take on too forcefully. We think that we can save people from hell if we just pound Jesus into them. That we can rip open their hearts and make them accept the love of Christ. Its also something that others of us don’t do nearly enough. We are timid and shy. Thinking that if we do little anynomous things often enough that someone will get Christianity by osmosis. We are afraid to share our faith.
So, how do we find the middle? How do we find ways to incorporate God’s love so deeply into our souls that we have no choice but to share? How do we share our faith and our love boldly, honestly, and lovingly?
There has been much talk lately about the young leaving church. There were theseposts from Christian Piatt earlier in the week And this post from Rachel Held Evans. David Kinnaman’s book You Lost Me is getting great reviews and is on my list to read soon. Our churches are losing people quickly. And those inside the church are often left scratching their heads wondering where people have gone.
I’ve spent much time in the past few years praying about this. Like so many young adults, I have beat my head against the wall when people didn’t seem to understand. I have cried and prayed and sat through my share of meetings with people who didn’t want to hear my ideas. Honestly, I have thought about leaving the church. But in the end, I decided to stay. Many friends question my decision. “Why would you stay in a place that broken beyond repair?” The chorus often sings to me. My answer is always simple, “Because I believe that with Jesus, nothing is beyond repair. I believe in the power of grace, mercy and forgiveness and that the message of Christ can change the world. Because if I walk away from the church, it will never change. But if I stay inside and work and pray and live out my call, maybe through me and those with me, God can change the world.”
See, when I was sent to Kennesaw, I had a head full of ideas. I found a church that loved people as they are. We have men in three piece suits, men in jeans, men in dirty work boots and men in bow ties sharing pews and hugs and handshakes. We have women in leggings and women in high heels and women in flip flops and women in “church hats” who all smiled at each other and truly loved each other. We have a pastor in his late 60s who preached that doubts and questions were welcome and important and that Jesus was neither Republican nor Democrat. A pastor who gets on his knees to serve children communion at the altar and always has his door open with candy for them. We are a “permission giving” church–where people could hear God’s call and follow it. Where we are a major supporter of a food pantry that we get no “outward” credit for helping. Where we believe that spreading God’s love is more important than our church getting credit for doing it….
And this place welcomed me–a young female pastor with a big mouth–with open arms. They love me and support me even when I challenge them. When after much prayer and holy conferencing, we presented the idea for Revive, they applauded and supported us. They let us use the largest non-sanctuary space in the church every Saturday, even if they could make money for a wedding. They give us money for candles and singers and equipment. They pray for us. They ask us how it is going and invite their friends. They even come once and a while. Why do I stay in the church? Because I believe change is possible. Because I believe God is bigger than my doubts and fears and traditions set in stone. Because places like exist. Because together we can make a difference.
Do you agree with some of the reasons why others left church? Then come visit us at Revive! We play relevant music–and some re-imagined old music! We welcome questions–and often even give you space to ask them anonymously! We believe worship is conversation, so we all talk. Out loud–together, sometimes even at once. I don’t preach a sermon, I ask questions and wait until someone answers them. We define the churchy terms that no one has ever explained, but assumes we should know. We ask for prayer requests. We welcome kids to be a part of worship and have them play important roles in the service. And we have time each week to tell someone else that God loves them and that you love them too. We don’t let you “check your brain at the door”, but instead we ask that you bring it along with you. That we find ways to think about, pray about and live out our faith. That you participate in our ritual so that you do more than think about faith–that you see it played out before you! And every week, we challenge each other not to let what we do inside Revive stay there. We challenge each other to go out into the world and make a difference.
The question I get asked so often is, “Well, is Revive a contemporary service?” I’ve started using the answer one of our team members says, “No, we aren’t contemporary, we are REVOLUTIONARY!” The more I read these stories about why people leave church, the more I pray that what we are doing at Revive, and what other pastor friends I know are doing starts a revolution around the world! A revolution of people who come back and stay.
Why do I stay? Because I believe that just like I am broken, the church is broken, that we all are broken. But, I believe that God can often work best through brokeness.
Why do I stay? Because I have seen lives changed because someone held their hand while they cried. Because I have seen lives changed by hearing the stories in scripture. Because I have seen lives changed through the power of prayer. Because I have seen lives changed by casseroles and choir cantatas and youth retreats and felt boards.
Why do I stay? Because I believe that while there is truth in all our lists–that church doesn’t have to be or stand for the words in any of the lists. Because I want to fight for a family that lives what it believes, loves harder than possible, and goes into the world and changes it.
Why do I stay? Because I believe that Jesus can change the world, and because everyone should have a church family like mine. I pray that someday you find one too! Maybe you’ll even come check us out and let us convince you that church can be more than you ever thought.
For Lent last year, I gave up all meat products. Yes, I was vegan. It was hard and spiritual and life changing. It was great. At the end, one of the members on staff at KUMC said offhandedly, “But Emily, next year you should really take your Sabbath day. Every week.”
See, we each struggle with our own temptations. One that I struggle with is a frenzied pace that I often believe I can keep up at all costs. I love to work hard. Its something I’ve done as long as I can remember. In High School, I would pull all-nighters to be sure I made the best grades possible and still be a star softball pitcher and lead 3-4 clubs. In college, I worked and played softball and was an RA and took 20+ hours. In grad school I worked a corporate job, a ministry job, made mostly As and still found time for friends. I don’t know any different. So, now I put the same passion into KUMC. I love it. Being busy, doing it all, doing it all well.
But sometimes I get tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally. And this pace makes me worse at my job. It strips my passion, my spirit, my focus. Its clear this is not what God wants. For me, or for anyone! More, we are called to take a day to rest every week. To rest. To celebrate God. To reset our bodies, our minds our spirits.
So, I embarked on this journey. This is my fourth Sabbath day this Lent. The first three days I tried so hard to follow the rules. The Judaic laws on the Sabbath say “no work”. Orthodox Jews don’t use electricity, don’t cook, don’t clean. The only exception is, “getting the ox out of the ditch”–meaning only if its an emergency. I tried and tried. I laid on the couch and watched dumb TV. I had lunches with friends and played on facebook. I read books for fun and journalled. I took extended hours in prayer and reading scripture. And it was great. But it felt like I was being lazy.
So I woke up this morning with 1,000 things on my mind, so I prayed. And I think finally, I’ve learned the lesson. I think finally I figured it out. Sabbath isn’t about following rules. Its not about doing NOTHING, its about setting aside time to rest. Time away. Its about having a day to concentrate on myself and the people in my life that I’ve forgotten. Its about having a day when there are few responsibilities or “have to dos”. Its about doing what I love–like writing and coffee and spending time praying in the sunshine. Its about loving the people in my life. I can do this. I can focus on my physical, mental, and emotional health and still love other people. I think I finally got it–why I needed this discipline so badly. And I pray it sticks.
How is your Lenten Devotion going? What have you learned? I’m going to go out into the sunshine. Meet a friend for lunch. Read a Paulo Coehlo book. And Jazzercize! I’m going to Sabbath. Hope your day is as blessed as mine!
I heard her suck her breath in and watched her quietly close her eyes before she answered. Her voice was shaky but her tone was beautiful. She talked of finding love and peace and grace. She talked of finding answers and hearing of people who really DID something with their faith. That God was more real than just an insurance policy.
How would you answer that question? Has anyone ever asked you that? To me, that question is the base of all Evangelism. Yes, Evangelism. Its a dirty word. I still remember having just graduated college and taking a Bible Study on it with my dad because I was so scared. Evagelism to me meant missionaries in ties coming to my door and badgering me until I admited my sins. It meant tracts and pressure and having to answer questions I didn’t know. I was petrified.
But that class taught me truths I never thought I’d learn. Evangelism is telling others that God loves them. Its telling them why your faith is important and how it will change their lives if they’ll let it. That life with Jesus and a church family is the most wonderful, rewarding, loving, amazing decision you can make! Its about telling them why you are a Christian and what Christ means to you.
My prayer is that we all spend time thinking of why we are Christian. Why we love Jesus. Why it matters that we have faith. And then that we spend time praying about how to share that. Who to tell, how to do it. That we pray for God’s strength and courage and discerning eye.
At Revive one of the ways we evangelize is by giving people postcards. This week Matt and I put 350 cards on cars in about 10 minutes at the CCT park and ride. Please pray that God will use those cards to tell people about Revive and about him. Please if you have cards left, be sure to give them out! Also be looking for new ways to evangelize and make a difference coming in the next few weeks!
Know that I am praying for you, that God is loving you, and that you can spread God’s love and light. Are you read for the revolution God is planning? Why are you a Christian? Blessings! Emily
